an ode to being present



The Joy of Being Present

Quality time is my love language
Which means friends are my love language
There’s a beauty in presence if you know how to look for it
You notice how your friend can’t seem to eat cleanly. Food constantly spilling out of their hands almost like its rushing back to the plate. Oil and spice forming rivers and deltas down their wrists and arms.
You learn to realize that it’s freedom. A freedom that doesn’t put on a performance. It’s a visual reminder that they feel safe around you. And that you can return the favor.
You notice how when your friend laughs they wipe their nose right before the screech of humor blasts on the ceiling and bounces off the walls. You notice they cup their mouth. Almost like they’re trying to catch their laughter so they too can savor it for lean times.
You learn to realize that it’s freedom. A freedom that doesn’t put on performance.
It’s a visual reminder that they feel safe around you. And that you can return the favor.
You notice when your friend turns to you and sobs into your arms in silence. Turning you into a walking and breathing handkerchief. There to catch long-held-on-to pain and worry. Release.
You learn to realize that it’s freedom. A freedom that doesn’t put on performance. It’s a visual reminder that they feel safe around you. And that you can return the favor.
You notice the way your friend tugs at their ear - an ear as hilly and flat as the day is long- when they’re asking a question they’re nervous about. Questions that ultimately help them, help you, see their world, see their minds. Cobwebs and sensitivities and all.
You learn to realize that it’s freedom. A freedom that doesn’t put on performance. It’s a visual reminder that they feel safe around you. And that you can return the favor.
When you pay attention enough you realize that quality time isn’t about the time but it’s about the safety. About meeting each other half-way. It’s about the vulnerability. It’s about not being concerned about the drama and the pomp and circumstance of day to day life. It’s an emotional reminder that they feel safe around you. And that you can return the favor.

Leave a comment